Well, not really a topic here, but only something to share, and gusto lang maglabas ng masakit na nararamdaman. This is one of my ways to lessen sadness by bursting it out. If you're not interested bahala na.
Are you guys familiar with who Cloud Strife is? He is the main Hero in the game I labeled as the best role-playing game in the playstation 1 with the best story line. The game is Final Fantasy VII, from Square Soft.
Letz jump to what i wanna burst out since Square™ never gave me money to advertise their product.
For those of you who aren't familiar with who Cloud is, juz read on.
One major reason why I really liked the story of FF7 is that Cloud and I have almost the same characteristics and personality (too bad I never had a talent of swinging a buster sword). Like Cloud im some sort of a loner, not a party goer, quiet, deep-thinker, stubborn for someone, shy-type, LIKE A TOTAL LONER, BUT A VERY SENSITIVE PERSON FOR OTHERS.
Juz like Cloud, Ive always felt that emptiness in my heart... That feeling of always drifting on an ocean so vast... with no one. Well, both of us have that trait of not trusting someone easily. Its very hard for the two of us to have faith on someone even with the long run of being with them. Because there always comes a time when we find ourselves alone even if we're with them. In the end, we wud always find our selves alone. Aren't we too much hard-headed? We feel alone because we cant have the bravery of trusting someone. Many times Ive encountered befriending someone, but always end up alone in one single moment. I've always felt that I have no one to belong to. Like things would be a lot different without me. That they would go and find me when they smell that Im lost.
CLOUD AND I BOTH SHARED THE CHILDHOOD MEMORY OF STAR-GAZING WITH THE VERY SPECIAL PERSON TO BOTH OF US. Remember that scene at 7th Heaven Bar when Cloud and Tifa (his childhood sweetheart) were together after Cloud dispatching his first mercenary mission with Avalanche (sorry po sa mga hindi nakakarelate)? They discussed the promise Cloud made to Tifa. Cloud promised to protect her. And that happened when they were still kids, on a star-gazing the night before Cloud decided to join SOLDIERS. Cloud has a problem with his memory (its a huge secret in the story why Cloud has difficulty remembering things).
Wow. How we treasured those memory of star-gazing with our dearest ones, while reciting each other's same dream of protecting the very person that's so important to us. The only difference is that Cloud and Tifa did their star-gazing at night. I did mine and my own "Tifa" on an early morning around 4-5 am.
Cloud kept the promise, good for him. I tried keeping my promise, but... she's gone. We were separeted by location when we were young. Then one day I found out that, she is no longer my "Tifa", and that I have no right of protecting her anymore. Still, im still pursuing that moment when I could straighten things up, so i can be with her. Hard and difficult aren't enough describing what im going through.
It feels so cold inside. Like searching for something that's already not here.
Where are you my "Tifa"? How can I find you? How can I reach you?
