Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for two hours? A: Because it said "concentrate."
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? A: Because on the box it said, "From 2-4 years."
Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's Wite-Out on the screen. Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A. There's writing on the Wite-Out.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? A: Because they can spell it.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? A: An interpreter.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Buy her another beer.
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A: Because she's been laid all over the country.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? A: Data transfer.
Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress? A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel? A: Because her boyfriend was also blonde!
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush? A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"? A: Only a few hundred men went down on "The Titanic."
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.
Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the Ws.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor.
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: "What, what?"
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said, "Don't Walk."
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night.
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door.
Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test? A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved.
Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex? A: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
